Creativity helps to explore feelings.

Grief keeps me locked in the past. I know I hold the key to open the gate to let some of the grief pass through me, but I keep the key safely hidden away. I’m not ready to accept what life has thrown at me. Maybe if I hold onto it long enough it will have a different outcome. Or do I just feel protected locked in my misery? The process is exhausting, and I am tired.

So, what exactly is healing through the lens anyway? First let me say that no amount of writing or other creative outlets will ever make my grief disappear.  Grief doesn’t just vanish.  What’s the point of doing all this if it isn’t going to fix me?  Nothing will ever FIX a person struggling with grief.  Being creative I believe will help me explore my feelings.  I have always been the happiest looking at life through the camera lens.  Focusing on just a small snapshot of life instead of trying to analyze the “big” picture seems manageable.  The big picture can be very scary and there is a sense of peace when I focus on just what is inside the camera’s small view. It’s not so daunting.  With my camera, I can choose to see exactly what I want to see and block out the rest.

Grief is a personal journey- you decide on the number of steps it takes to heal.

Being creative is not just about dealing with grief.  I have processed a lot of emotions with my camera. Some of my happiest times have been shared with my camera.  I generally don’t enjoy taking pictures of people.  Wedding and portrait photography would probably send my anxiety over the edge.  I prefer the natural world.  No expectations. No demands. No judgement.  Just pure beauty as it was intended. 

Even in the stillness, there is always movement in nature.  Maybe we’re not meant to stay stagnant in our grief?

Nature is willing to be vulnerable, maybe it’s time I open my shell.